How to help children spot harmful content online
Within minutes of going online, girls and boys are pushed into dramatically different online worlds built on misogyny and toxic gender stereotypes. That's what our new report into online safety and children found – and it's happening on the accounts of children you know.
While girls are being fed unrealistic beauty standards, boys are told that being a man means being richer, stronger, more successful. Both absorb harmful ideas about gender and relationships, packaged as jokes, memes and "life advice". And it's no accident: algorithms are built to maximise engagement, not protect children, while governments focus on restricting access rather than holding platforms to account.
You can't monitor everything a child sees on social media. But there's a lot you can do to help the children in your life spot harmful content, question what they're shown, and know what to do next. Here are five ways to get started.
Watch out for “it’s just a joke”
Not all harmful content arrives waving a red flag. More often, it turns up disguised as a meme, a viral video or a comment section full of laughing emojis. When sexist, misogynistic or harmful ideas are wrapped up as humour, they can start to feel normal. And if nobody challenges them, they soon become part of the background noise online.
So next time your child shows you something "funny", look beyond the punchline. Ask: what's the message underneath? Is it really harmless, or could it be damaging?
Our research found that girls were more likely to spot harmful content and push back against it, often drawing on feminist ideas and communities. Boys, meanwhile, were less likely to challenge it or seek out alternative viewpoints. Instead, they were more likely to find themselves trapped in an online echo chamber where misogyny is repackaged as banter and harmful ideas masquerade as life advice.
Try this: Talk to young people about the content they’re seeing. Start conversations with curiosity and open questions, not judgement. And keep that door open. Let your child know they can come to you if something online worries, upsets or confuses them. They shouldn't feel embarrassed, judged or afraid of getting into trouble for speaking up.
If you lead the conversation with ‘That’s misogynistic”, you could trigger defensiveness. A good alternative is to ask “What was it about that video that made you laugh?” Or if you’re starting from scratch, “What’s something you saw online today that stuck with you?”
Be wary of content that puts children in boxes
Gender stereotypes are a big yawn. Unfortunately, social media algorithms haven’t got the memo.
Our researchers found that boys and girls are being served a steady stream of content telling them who they should be. Girls are encouraged to focus on their appearance and being passive and dependent on men. Boys are told to stay in control, chase status and never show vulnerability.
The message doesn't have to be explicit to be powerful. When children see the same ideas repeated across content about appearance, relationships, behaviour and hobbies, those ideas can start to feel like rules. Today, these ideas often show up as hyper-masculine content or "tradwife" videos promoting rigid gender roles. Watch out for phrases like "man up", advice for boys on how to be "nonchalant", or videos teaching girls how to be "soft but not weak".
Because children deserve the freedom to work out who they are for themselves, not have an algorithm do it for them.
Try this: If a video suggests that all boys or all girls should think or behave a certain way, encourage your child to question it. Critical thinking is a skill we all develop over time: help them see that real people are far more interesting than stereotypes. Open their eyes to the fact that some content creators can use fear, anger, or insecurity to manipulate audiences and make more money. Encourage diverse content to give them a different perspective.
Some useful questions could be: who benefits from this message? Is there real evidence behind it? How does it make your child feel? Empowered, or pressured to fit a narrow idea of what a "successful" boy or girl should be?
Look out for content that turns boys and girls into opponents
The internet has no shortage of people trying to convince boys and girls that they're on opposing teams.
The manosphere, for example, promotes the idea that girls and women have an unfair advantage, that gender equality has gone too far, and that men are somehow losing out. Running through much of this content is the idea that women are manipulative, untrustworthy or something to be controlled. Unfortunately, the stereotypes are as outdated as they are persistent.
In our algorithm testing, researchers also saw videos comparing boys and girls in ways designed to stir up resentment. Some claimed girls have easier lives, more friends or recover from heartbreak faster. One particularly shocking image encouraged boys to silence their classmates, comparing duct tape to lipstick.
The algorithm can act like a loudspeaker for these messages, boosting content that pits boys and girls against one another. The reality? Gender equality isn't a competition, and we’re all batting for the same team here.
Try this: If something leaves you with a nagging feeling, don’t ignore it. Instead, try to catch it early.
Harmful content rarely goes from zero to one hundred overnight. More often, feeds become more extreme bit by bit. One video leads to another. Then another. Before long, a young person's entire feed can start reinforcing the same harmful messages.
Get familiar with the tools available on the platforms your child uses. Show them how to report content, block accounts and tell the algorithm when they don't want to see something. You don't need to have one big, perfect conversation with a young person. In fact, shorter chats often work better. A quick question here, a curious conversation there. Over time, those small moments can give your child the tools to approach what they're see online critically.
Notice messages that encourage secrecy or isolation
If a content creator is telling your child to keep things to themselves and distrust those around them, alarm bells should ring.
Healthy content encourages young people to build relationships, ask questions and reach out for support if they need it. Harmful content often does the opposite. It tells children that nobody understands them, that they're better off alone, or that they should stop listening to friends and family.
One trend currently gaining traction is being "nonchalant" – acting emotionally detached and never letting anyone know you've been hurt or affected by something. It's often sold to boys as confidence. But scratch beneath the surface and it can feel a lot like an old stereotype in a new outfit: that “real men don’t cry” and shouldn’t talk about their feelings.
Try this: You likely won't see everything your child sees online – but you'll see its effects. Listen for language that sounds borrowed (dismissing feelings as weak, mocking people who "overshare"). Notice if they've gotten more closed-off, more dismissive of friends, or oddly proud of not caring about things. Alongside that, encourage activities that get your child connecting with people and exploring what they enjoy offline. The richer life feels beyond the screen, the less power algorithms have to define their self-worth.
Remember that not all "advice" is good advice
Social media is full of people claiming they've got life figured out. The issue here? Not all advice is created equal.
Some content genuinely helps young people learn, grow and build confidence. Other content wraps gender stereotypes and other harmful messages up in the language of self-improvement, motivation or success.
Our research shows that this can manifest as self-care messages, persuading girls to buy expensive skincare products, or as content promoting a stay-at-home girlfriend aesthetic that can present submission and dependence as something to aspire to.
For boys, feeds can promote muscular bodies, particular facial features or advice about becoming more successful or disciplined. Some videos encourage boys to be more successful or disciplined by self-isolating and focusing only on money and muscles. This can make them more vulnerable to this content, as if they're following these instructions, they may be less likely to speak to others about what they're seeing.
This content can also be presented as relationship psychology videos that encourage suspicion and manipulation. For example, some videos suggest that a girl who doesn't reply immediately is "playing" a boy.
Try this: Look at some of this content together and talk through it in real terms – ask "Do you think that's actually true?" or "What would happen if you tried that with a friend?" Turning it into a conversation, rather than a rule a child has to follow alone, makes the critical thinking stick.
Getting support
If a young person you know has been affected by harmful content online, you can help them to reach out for specialist support: